For decades, memoirs have been a popular way to explore family history. But what does writing a memoir actually teach you? We spoke to several writers who have published bestselling memoirs to get an inside look at what they learned during the process.
1. Self-expression is key.
“The most important thing I learned from writing my memoirs is that it’s all about expressing yourself,” says bestselling author and memoirist Candice Millard. “When you’re writing your memoirs, you’re putting yourself into words and giving the audience a glimpse of what’s inside you. When I started making notes about my life, I didn’t really know how to express myself. I thought that because I was a woman, my feelings and thoughts should be secondary to what was going on. But writing my memoirs gave me the confidence to ignore all that and just be me.”
Millard’s candid and empowering approach to life has made her one of today’s most popular authors, noted for her New York Times bestselling The River Café, a collection of essays about her life, and Latin Lover, a coming-of-age story about her years spent in the South American country of Uruguay. She has also written several books about art, including Talking About Art and Art in the Modern World, both of which deal with topics that interest her. In 2017, Millard was named the 56th most influential woman in the world by Fortune Magazine.
2. Research is important.
In addition to being an author, Millard is also a historian, and has written several bestselling non-fiction books about art including Talking About Art and Art in the Modern World. She also served as the historical adviser for the Netflix movie, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, which was based on her 2007 book of the same name. The film was directed by John Huston and featured an array of talent, including Tim Blake Nelson, Sam Elliott, and Kevin Corbett. In the movie, Millard’s character guides the main character, Buster Scruggs, as he searches for clues about the murder of his wife and partner, Betty.
Millard says that researching for the movie was both interesting and challenging. “It was interesting because John wanted to do a western with a historical component,” she says. “When I worked on the book, that’s exactly what I envisioned, a guy in a broad-brimmed Stetson with a long-barreled revolver. But filming it in Santa Fe was really hard because people don’t dress the same there as they do in the Old West. And then we had the added trouble of trying to find authentic-sounding western tunes.”
Millard adds that filming historical events can be tricky because of the limited opportunities to witness these historical moments first-hand. “In Buster Scruggs, there were a lot of scenes that happened in the 1800s that I couldn’t have imagined myself living through, like the Mexican–American War,” she says. “But in a way it was also good that I couldn’t have imagined these things. It would have been really hard to write about them if I’d had the experience because it would have made the book no good.”
3. Research different cultures.
Historical fiction writer and memoirist Lillian Beck also drew on her extensive research for her book, Alola! A Memoir of Growing up Filipino in Hawai’i. Beck, who was born in the Philippines but raised in Hawai’i, had to learn a lot about the culture and language of the Philippines – as well as the culture of Hawaii – in order to tell the story of a young Filipino woman adjusting to life in the Aloha State.
“I wanted to write a book that would be entertaining and enlightening,” Beck says. “I was especially curious about the Filipino culture, as I never really knew much about it. Also, being born and raised in the United States, I didn’t have much of a connection to the Philippines. But after reading a few books and doing some research, I feel that I am now more appreciative of my Filipino heritage and the culture that I was born into.”
4. Authentic dialogue is important.
When it comes to writing about unusual or unfamiliar subject matter, it’s important to source authentic dialogue, even if it’s simply quotes from films or books. This will allow you to give the impression that you have actually experienced or heard these things first-hand. It might also be helpful to read a few memoirs or biographies by the people whose experiences you are trying to recreate.
“The dialogue in my book is mostly from Tim Curry’s novel, Raised in Bolivian Skies,” Beck says. “So there’s a bit of an impression that you’re reading between the lines. But apart from that, everything is me voicing my opinions and trying to describe what I saw and heard.”
Beck’s memoir is full of colorful descriptions of her life in Hawai’i during the mid-20th century. She was born in Honolulu in 1933 and raised in a large family in the nearby towns of Makiki and Waikiki. Her father was in the sugar cane business, and the family moved around a lot, living in four different houses in three years. Beck attended Makiki School and Wahiawa High School, before going to college in Mexico.
She received her Bachelors in English Literature from the University of New Mexico in Albuquerque and then moved to California for her Masters. While she was living in California, she worked for an airline as a flight attendant. She also found work as a writer for television and radio. Beck eventually returned to Hawai’i, and in 1970, she married a man named Tom Beck. With Tom by her side, she worked on her memoirs, which were published by Houghton Mifflin in 2006, after she passed away from cancer in 2005.
5. Be unique.
An oft-repeated piece of advice for those who write memoirs is to write what is unique to you. This means that while you can draw on your own life experiences, you should never be afraid to offer an opinion or perspective that is different from what is commonly thought to be true. This can make for a more interesting and thought-provoking read.
“My advice to any writers is to be unique and stand out from the crowd,” Millard says. “If you want to succeed as a writer, then do what you can to be different, to stand out. Write what you know, but make it interesting, make it unique. Find a way to be different, to be innovative, and to be unusual.”