‘Beside themselves’—the phrase conjures an image of a person suddenly inspired, even exalted, by some external event or occurrence. It can also describe someone who is overcome by some inner emotion or feeling that they cannot suppress or contain.
What would you say if you saw someone walking down the street looking ‘beside themselves’ with a huge smile on their face? Perhaps you’d describe them as ‘having a good day’, or as ‘in a good mood’. But what if their expressionlessness was more akin to that of a zombie, or of someone who had been dazed and traumatised?
Zombies aren’t the only dead souls that can possess beaming smiles, however. Many people suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) experience bouts of extreme emotional lability and even paranoia. During these times, their expressions can seem quite mechanical and alien, as if they had forgotten how to ‘be’ themselves. For these individuals, ‘beside themselves’ might just be the right expression to use when trying to describe their current emotional state.
The Event That Inspired Them To ‘Be’ Beside Themselves
From time to time, a deeply wounding event or series of events can occur that leaves a person feeling quite beside themselves. In most cases, this follows some sort of catastrophic loss or major trauma, which then makes the individual feel quite vulnerable, even desolate. In other words, the person has lost a part of themselves that they no longer feel safe to inhabit or express in the same way.
For example, a close friend of mine had their car overturned by a drunk driver. Though they weren’t actually injured, the incident was incredibly distressing to watch unfold, especially as it happened right in front of them. Since that day, they’ve had trouble trusting others and are completely incapable of feeling joy or elation, as they had before the event. Now, whenever they encounter something funny or exciting, they always seem to find it difficult to express any feeling other than extreme panic or terror. In the same way, an individual might feel really happy to see a loved one, but find themselves struggling to express that emotion, as it’s ‘locked’ down due to previous experience.
PTSD Vs. Major Depression
While it’s not always easy to determine exactly what is going on in the head of someone who is displaying behaviours that seem ‘off’, it is possible to say that there are some clear differences between someone with PTSD and someone suffering from major depression. As previously mentioned, many people with PTSD experience a profound sense of loss and isolation following a traumatic event or series of events. Depression, on the other hand, is a chronic, often dormant, state of mind that can make the individual feel quite low or even joyless throughout most of the day. (Interestingly, many people with depression report feeling happier during times of crisis or adversity.)
It is well-established that depression and anxiety are commonly found together, as research has shown that around 80% of people with anxiety also have depression. As a result, if you’re feeling down, bummed, or just want to live your life in a better fashion, you might consider talking to your doctor about your options for treatment. And remember, with therapy and proper medication it is possible to feel better than ever before.
Paranoia
Of course, every individual is different and some may feel closer to despair than to joy. There are a host of mental disorders that can lead to a person feeling quite untethered or even dangerous towards others. If you or someone you know exhibits any of the following traits, it is time to worry:
- Difficulty concentrating
- Irritability
- Over-sensitivity
- Panic attacks
- Paranoia
- Inability to experience joy or sorrow.
If you think that you might be wondering whether or not to be concerned about the safety of a loved one, it is best to ask for clarification from a mental health professional. Just remember, no one is an island and while you might feel that you need to protect yourself from harm, accepting help from people who know how to help is the best route to ensuring that your needs are always met. In other words, you don’t want to ‘save’ yourself by sacrificing your own needs.
Are You Looking ‘Beside Themselves’?
Are you or someone you know displaying any of the above symptoms? If so, you’re probably wondering how to describe the way they’re feeling. As previously stated, many individuals with PTSD experience a profound sense of loss and isolation following a traumatic event or series of events. In most cases, this follows some sort of catastrophic loss or major trauma, which then makes the individual feel quite vulnerable, even desolate. As a result, the symptoms of PTSD can become quite easy to spot. Below you’ll find a short list of possible reactions to such an event:
- Drowning In Your Own Tears
- Overwhelmed By Emotions
- Flashbacks
- Avoiding People And Surroundings
- Feeling Over-Sensitive To Clothes, Scents, And Sounds
- Hyper-Vigilance
- Paranoia
- Feeling Untethered
- Irritability
- Difficulty Concentrating
- Appearing Distracted
- Incapable Of Feeling Joy Or Sadness
If you’re wondering how to describe someone looking ‘beside themselves’, the above list should provide you with a good idea of what to expect. Naturally, every individual is different and not all the symptoms will apply, but the chances are that you’ll know how to identify this condition when you see it.