I have two kids, one in college and the other in high school. I knew that my younger son would need a little extra help with his studies, so I reached out to my local college to see if they had anything that might be beneficial. They suggested that I consider buying one of their textbooks for him to use; it cost a hundred and fifty dollars. I thought this was a bit much, especially since I had just bought myself a coffee mug that cost five dollars at miele.com. And then, the penny dropped.
I realized that the mug I bought was more than just a coffee mug – it was a business gift. I had just been treated to an excellent sales pitch by a representative from miele, a renowned German manufacturer of quality household appliances. They had convinced me to purchase a coffee machine that was on special. What they failed to mention was that if I purchased another item from them, the mug would be free. I could see how this might happen. Being new to this sort of thing, I wasn’t quite sure how much “friendliness” was appropriate, so I hesitated for a moment before accepting the mug. But as soon as I did, my mind was made up. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to try out miele’s wares, especially since I had already purchased an appliance from them. So, I decided to keep the mug. A coffee mug. Imagine my surprise when my son brought it up to me, almost seven months later.
“Dad, was that the mug you bought for me?” he asked. I will admit, I was somewhat embarrassed. My son seemed genuinely confused as to why I would buy him a mug when coffee mugs are so widely available and cheap. The fact that it was a business gift made it even more apparent to me that we weren’t really a typical dad and son duo.
“Yeah, it was,” I said, trying to be straightforward. But then I thought that maybe I should elaborate. I didn’t want to lie to my son, but I also didn’t want to hurt his feelings. He was already acting like an adult, going to school and interacting with friends, so I thought that it might be best to give him a glimpse of the adult world. I could see how this might be beneficial, even though it was perhaps a bit much at first. I wanted him to understand that although my wallet is often empty, it isn’t because I’m mean – it’s because I’m trying to fill it. I wanted him to see me as a reliable and generous father. So in the end, I decided to tell him the truth.”
“Thanks, Dad. I guess I just don’t understand why you would buy me a coffee mug when they’re so common and cheap. I’m sure there are thousands of stores that sell them. Why not just get one at a coffee shop?” he asked.
“Well, I thought that maybe this one would be a little special,” I said, trying to sound nonchalant. “I mean, it’s not like I really needed it. It was either this one or a travel mug.”
“Are you kidding? A travel mug?” he said, clearly not believing me. “Dad, you just bought me a coffee mug! Why would you buy me a travel mug?”
“I thought perhaps you would like to have a mug that wasn’t just for coffee. You know, one that wasn’t just functional. Kind of a keepsake,” I said, trying to seem open-minded but also make sense.
“No, I don’t want a travel mug. This one will do just fine,” he said, gesturing at the coffee mug he was holding. He then proceeded to go into the living room and start watching TV. I could see the wheels turning in his head as he tried to figure out what I might have gotten him. It wasn’t often that I was able to surprise my son with gifts, much less things related to coffee. It wasn’t often that I bought anything without his consent. But I hoped that this would be the exception rather than the rule. He seemed like a really nice kid, so I didn’t want to ruin that by being too forward. But still, I had to try. So I walked over to where he was sitting and asked gently, “Do you like the mug Dad got you?” He looked up at me with a confused expression, as if he were lost in thought and hadn’t even heard me come in the room.
“It’s okay. I mean, it’s not like it’s a big deal,” he replied, fiddling with the coffee mug’s surface. “It was either this one or a travel mug. I don’t even need another coffee mug.”
“No, it’s not okay. It’s a very expensive mug,” I stated, surprised that he hadn’t noticed how much it cost. “You don’t like it. Why didn’t you like it?” It was then that I realized how much my honest and open approach was paying off. He had opened up to me, and I was able to get a little bit of information out of him. I could see that he was more mature than his years and that he had his reasons for not wanting to attend to his father with too much friendliness. It was then that I decided to be more respectful of his feelings. We had both been through a lot, and it was clear that we needed to take things easier, not harder. With any luck, this openness would become a habit and serve him well in the future. I didn’t want to squash his burgeoning personality – quite the opposite, in fact.
“Well, I don’t know. I mean, it’s not that I don’t like it. It’s just that…I dunno,” he said, trailing off into silence. I wanted to give him time to process things, so I let it go. There was plenty more where that came from, and I wasn’t going to press the issue. Besides, I had a feeling that he would come around. He would appreciate the gesture, and it would make me and his mom very happy to see him taking an interest in something other than his electronics. He had plenty of time to explore the world around him, and I wasn’t about to be the one to stand in the way of his educational progress.
My son is almost always open to new experiences, new opportunities, and new facets of life. He is exceptionally bright, and he seems to have an endless stream of creativity and curiosity. So it’s no wonder that he was attracted to the prospect of learning to write, especially since he had already shown such an ability to articulate his thoughts and feelings. And thus, was born this blog post.
For those of you who are new to the idea of writing as a tool for learning, I would recommend starting small. Whether it’s a short story, an essay, or a poem, try and keep it simple. Choose a subject that you’re passionate about – something that’s close to your heart. My advice would be to write something that you feel compelled to share with the world. Don’t worry about making perfect sense. The idea is to get your thoughts and feelings down on paper, not to prove a point. On that note, please feel free to leave your thoughts and opinions in the comments section below. I would love nothing more than to hear your story about how writing helped you learn to learn. And if you’d like, I can even throw together a free sample of my own short story for you to take a look at. It’s a great way to get started, and it’s something I’m very proud of. So, until next time…